toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
