Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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