Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Pants are for mortals
i believe in u and ur pee
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
