i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize