I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
