found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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