if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
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And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
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I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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