:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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