Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I love having hate sex.
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I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
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All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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