I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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