windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Randomize
