O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
