She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
