Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
