thus making me awesome and them whores
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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