Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
