I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
