we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Omg I joined a choir last night...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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