what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
only you would photoshop your dick
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
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When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
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Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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