OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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