Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
