Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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