I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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