I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
