she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
