You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
