yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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