Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
