Whats the glycemic index on semen?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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