Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
