my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
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Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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