i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
