he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
