I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
