Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
