You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
