But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
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I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
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I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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