Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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