somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
YAS. BRING CRAB.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
