guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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