You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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