so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
