if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
