why didn't you poke me back
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
