just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
