we made out on top of his cat.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i think i just lost a toe
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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