You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
