no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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