I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
