Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
