and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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