32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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