Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I love you. Go after that dick
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
