Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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