That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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