3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
