We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
