Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
