I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
