i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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