Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
