At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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