Dual....:-)
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
