Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
